tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57770562094300275212024-03-13T06:13:43.326-07:00The Praying Postmodernpraying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-16762795624809368762011-07-14T15:20:00.000-07:002011-07-14T15:20:56.308-07:00Hot TimesI have lived in Texas for all of my 39 years and have weathered the summers here for all of them minus one when I spent the summer in northern Germany. I know hot when I see it, feel it, or melt in it. This summer is HOT! Robin Williams in <em>Good Morning Vietnam </em>says, "It is Africa hot!" Brothers and sisters, Africa has nothing on Texas this summer.<br />
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Tuesday evening while 100+ children were gathered at Genesis United Methodist Church a UPS truck pulled into the parking lot. The driver was not there to make a delivery. The man was on the verge of dying in the heat. Literally, he was vomitting and not fully consious. He collasped on the ground and was not able to even get into a wheel chair to be brought inside to the air conditioning. A 911 call brought an ambulance and firetruck to the church. The man was taken to a local hospital and given an IV and treatments for heat exhaustion. <br />
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Yep, it is hot. Sunday, a group of Junior High kids and a few of us adults will go on a mission trip in the heat. I have to admit that I am not looking forward to what some forecasts have in the range of 100 to 105 for the highs. <br />
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Today, Marvin, a.k.a. the UPS man, came by the church to thank the staff for their help in his time of need. On Tuesday evening he was literally at his last stop, save the fact we were having Vacation Bible School. <br />
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Did I mention the theme for Tuesday night was, "God watches over you"? And we were reminded that "Even in darkness I cannot hide from you" (Psalm 139:12). God watches over us in the hot and in the cold, in the light and the dark, in the good and the bad, in our best and our worst. God was watching over Marvin and God is watching over you.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-36397348370823497762011-06-29T14:50:00.000-07:002011-06-29T14:50:02.396-07:00This MorningLast Sunday several people gave "updates" on prayer concerns with statements like, "I got a text from them last night" or "I talked with his wife this morning." It is a way of conveying this is the most up to date news availible to the group. <br />
Nicole C. Mullens sings a song <em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpCaNBhK4S0">My Redeemer Lives</a>. </em>Toward the end of the song she says, "I spoke with him this morning." This line, more than any other in the song, gives me chills every time. It says that her relationship is up to date. It is a way of conveying that she didn't just speak to him a while back, but she has a current and relavant relationship with Jesus. It is for me the true testimony of her faith and her belief that her Redeemer, Christ Jesus, does live.<br />
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Most mornings, I speak with my Redeemer while I go for my run. Sometimes it is the brief good morning of old friends. Others it is a powerful moment as sweat runs down my brow and the sun breaks the horizan. Either way it is for me a moment of proof that indeed he lives. It is not something that is just biblical or creedal; it is personal. praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-18358605037837054012011-04-24T06:02:00.000-07:002011-04-24T06:02:42.103-07:00ResurrectionFor the season of Lent, I did not use Facebook or write on my blog. Today is Easter. The time of darkness has past; the computer is turned on. Resurrection has come. Redemption has come home.<br />
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Obviously, this is the day that we as Christians remember that "He is not here. He is risen!" These words were spoken by the angel at the tomb when the women went to see the body of Jesus. Today, death is found powerless. Today, darkness has past from us. Today is the day of Resurrection and we are free from sin and the grave!<br />
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It is also a day when many of us take back some of the things we "gave up" for Lent. I have already perused though Facebook this morning. Amazingly, it looked pretty much like it did 40 days ago when I signed off for the last time. While, I was slightly disappointed with the posts I read this morning, I am sure within a few days I will be back to checking it several times a day lest I miss something important. Funny isn't it. I don't think I missed anything truly important over the last six weeks.<br />
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Today is also a day of redemption. Before Jesus faced his own crucifixion and death, he stopped at the grave of a friend who had been dead four days. Martha, the friend's sister, warned Jesus, "There is already a stench!" Jesus told the people to remove the stone which covered the face of the tomb. When Jesus called, "Lazarus, come out!" the dead man walked out of the tomb. But then Jesus had to tell the people, "unbind him." Many people walk through life bound up by the past. We might not literally be dead, but we cannot be fully alive if we are still tied up by the past<br />
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A little over a week ago, I received the call to be unbound. I received word that I was accepted to law school. Suddenly, it felt as if my life had changed. I was not dead, but the past still hung on me like the cloths that held the dead. Today, I am alive, free, and looking forward to a better tomorrow. <br />
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May your day of resurrection and redemption come swiftly. May you be blessed as you find yourself unbound from the past.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-4175645470860136152011-02-04T11:46:00.000-08:002011-02-04T11:46:56.885-08:00Control"I control my own destiny." It is something that all of us want to believe in some form or fashion. Just a couple of weeks ago, a church by which I pass had on the marquee, "WE ARE THE RESULT OF OUR CHOICES." As humans, we want this to be the case. We know it to be the case.<br />
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This week is the antithesis of these humanistic mindsets. North Texas has prepared for months for this week. It is the week of the "Big Game." I don't want the NFL to come saying that I am infringing on their precious copyright, so I will just say, "The Big Game." Well, as much as DFW prepared, made choices, and put our destiny in our own hands, God has looked down and laughed at the little Babylonians trying to build for ourselves a tower and make a name for ourselves. We could plan, hope, dream, invest, choose, and still at the end of the day, we could not control the weather. We have had the coldest temperatures in over 15 years along with ice and snow.<br />
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We want to prove that we can do this. We want to be smart enough and strong enough to handle these things on our own. Frustratingly, we are not. OK, I will make it more personal, I am not. Maybe Jerry and the guys running the "Big Game" are strong enough and smart enough.<br />
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Yes, I have lots of control in my life. Yes, I can make many choices every day. Yes, I have intelligence and strength. No, I am not in control and I do not want to be. I am not solely the result of my choices. Good things have happened in my life that have nothing to do with the choices I have made. Bad things have happened despite some good and right decisions. I have not always gotten what I deserved, good or bad. On the whole, I am as much the product of grace as of any control I have in life. God has never failed to remain faithful regardless of my desire for control.<br />
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After four days cooped up at home, I am ready to have a bit more control. I am ready to drop the kids at school, go get a Starbucks, and then have the ability to come and go as I choose. And I will continue to be thankful for the lack of control I have which somehow has been blessing and grace in the long views of life.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-76707324014481300442011-01-27T13:57:00.000-08:002011-01-27T13:57:16.310-08:00DivisionLast week I exchanged emails with a friend who is coming out of a turbulent year. Although the turbulent was personal, she said, "surely that has spilled into my professional life to some degree." We would like to believe there is some great wall of division between our professional and private lives. And somehow we are surprised when the professional or public pours into tour private lives, or when a tough time in the private world comes out in odd ways in our public self.<br />
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My mom used to work in a school where the principal's secretary was also his wife. Mom's classroom shared a wall with the principal's office. She could tell you when they had a fight at home because of the yelling in their offices at work. Are any of us really surprised at this phenomenon?<br />
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We also expect there to be a wall of division between our sacred and secular selves. This wall is no more existent than the wall mentioned above. We are integrated beings. Our sacred and secular effect each other. Our faith cannot start on Sunday about 8:15 in the morning and only be important until 12:03. <br />
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Maybe we all need to embrace the reality that our being is integrated. That our physical effects our spiritual, that our public and private are related, and that our sacred and secular in reality are the same person. Not that all things have to be shared in all places, but being more fully integrating and not letting the walls of division be so prominent in our lives actually frees us to be the full person God called and created us to be. Maybe we can be more fully alive in all aspects of life.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-49437295519730845172011-01-20T08:58:00.000-08:002011-01-20T08:58:39.662-08:00Beyond One's SelfYesterday afternoon a friend's husband was attacked by a student at his school. Originally, they thought he had a few broken ribs, but did not appear so on the x-ray. Apparently, he is still hurting and they are headed back to the doctor this afternoon.<br />
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Obviously, I am concerned about the friend and I worry about the state of our schools, but part of me hurts for this student. What is going on in his life? What was he thinking? Was he thinking? What would his parents say? Do they even know?<br />
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To attack a teacher is to act outside of one's self. He was acting beyond what was rational and expected. Many people act beyond themselves at various points in life. Glen Beck and George W. Bush both admit to having acted beyond themselves in their use of alcohol. Lindsay Lohan may have almost forgotten what it means to act within herself over the last several years. Even St. Peter acted outside of himself as he denied even knowing Jesus.<br />
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I know the pain acting outside of one's self can bring. I have experienced it in my own life. I almost threw away the best things in my life as my family and marriage were slipping out of my fingers and my career eventually flew out the window. Beck, Bush, and Lohan got help to get back on track. Peter ended up being the rock on which the Church was built. I have had help pulling myself together and establishing and reestablishing my own boundaries. <br />
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What about this kid? Who will help him? Who is helping in our schools? I have to admit I am a fence rider, literally, on this subject. I serve on a PTA for one son's local public elementary school, and am a passive parent at my other son's private middle school. I hope this kid finds a way to establish his own self in a positive way.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-24389705268402211032011-01-13T10:06:00.000-08:002011-01-13T10:06:29.183-08:00Goals v. ResolutionsOK, so I am a little late on my New Year's resolutions. But, as I looked at this question, sometimes they are not resolutions, but rather goals for the year. So, first, let me define "goal" and "resolution."<br />
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Goal: that which one plans to achieve.<br />
Resolution: a decision to do something or make a change in behavior.<br />
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I have both goals and resolutions for 2011. My goals include - 1) taking the LSAT in February, 2) continue running 4 times a week, 3) assuming I do well on goal 1 to go to law school in the fall, 4) lose 20 lbs (doing this means I could weight the same on my 40th birthday as I did on my 20th!).<br />
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My resolutions include - 1) not looking back at the past with regret, 2) to give thanks for today, 3) to look forward with optimism to the days to come, 4) to love my wife and my boys more carefully.<br />
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These are much more self-centered than most goals and resolutions that I have put before friends in the past. They are probably much more honest about where I am and what I want as well. I pray that 2011 will be a good year for Tammy and I, for us and our boys, and that this second half of life will continue to overflow my cup of blessing.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-42614367615256578972011-01-05T07:30:00.000-08:002011-01-05T07:30:46.446-08:00HalftimeMost team sports, minus hockey (which as a Texan does not make any sense to me), have a halftime. Halftime can simply be a chance for players to catch their breath and get a drink. Often it is a time for the coach and the team to adjust the game plan and prepare for the second half of the game. Many games shift at halftime. Last night the momentum shifted for Arkansas as they played Ohio State in the Sugar bowl. I was asleep by this point, but apparently Arkansas played a much stronger game in the second half.<br />
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This year, 2011, is my halftime. I will turn 40. Assuming an average life expectancy, I am right at the halfway point. I have been a stay-at-home dad for the last 15 months. This has been an incredible time for me to stop, catch my breath, and adjust the game plan for the remainder of my life. During this time, Tammy and I have worked on being the husband and wife we both deserve and who God has created and called us to be. We also have set out ways and means for us to continue on a more healthy road in the days and years to come. I too have been thinking about what am I going to do with the second half of this game called life. <br />
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Well, I know somethings will change for sure. In December, I withdrew from the ordained ministry of the United Methodist Church. It was time. It was not an easy decision, but it was the right one. Currently, I am preparing to take the LSAT in February and apply to law school. I have discovered during my halftime I love weekends and evenings with my family. So, that will remain a priority in the second half. <br />
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I am still working on my resolutions and goals for the new year and second half. Look for some of those thoughts next week.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-76358021812710399942010-11-22T14:58:00.000-08:002010-11-22T14:58:53.446-08:00WatchingWe are at that time of year when as parents we will start saying things like, "Santa is watching." We even teach our children songs that go something like:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">He sees you when your sleeping.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He knows when you're awake.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He knows if you've been bad or good, </div><div style="text-align: center;">so be good for goodness sake.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Yep, that my friends is GOOD parenting. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">In the past, I have worried about who might be watching. I was not always the best example, and probably, if my life were played out on a screen and I had to account for every moment of the day, I would have many times where I would not be proud of the scene playing out before my eyes even today.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">This morning, however, it became obvious I was being watched. My seven-year old has been watching. He knows how to use my i-pad, my i-phone, and the remote. Let's for the sake of arguement call those neutral. But this morning, I was proud that he was watching.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I was helping him get dressed this morning. We were sitting at the table that sits in the corner of Tammy's and my bedroon. My son pointed to a leather-bond book on the table and said, "Bible?" </div><div style="text-align: left;">"No. That is not a Bible, but there is a Bible on the table. Do you want to read a story from the Bible?" I responded.</div><div style="text-align: left;">"No, thank you," he said. Then after a moment, he said, "Bible. Pray."</div><div style="text-align: left;">I looked up from his shoes, "Yes. Mom and I read a devotion and pray most mornings." (Tammy and I made it a practice in our lives to have about 10 mins of devotion, discussion, and prayer every morning after I moved back into the house in September of '09.)</div><div style="text-align: left;">He said, "Travis pray?" And he pointed to the TV, and said, "Off." (He knows we mute the news when we do our devotion.)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">So, I muted the TV. He sat where Tammy normally sits and we prayed. When Trav and I pray, they are simple, amazingly honest prayers. We thank God for special people in his life. When we finished, he kissed me. (Tammy and I kiss when we finish our devotion)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Yep, he has been watching me. He knows when I am sleeping, running, being good, wasting time, or even praying. I am just glad that he sees something good.</div>praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-44957770951265728172010-11-11T12:23:00.000-08:002010-11-11T12:23:39.075-08:00Armistice DaySo on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the guns on the of the War to End All Wars fell silent. That was in 1918. Since then the world has not known a year without the reality of war. The War to End All War fell at the beginning of the bloodiest century in human history. <br />
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So where does that leave us now? We have come 92 years since "the guns fell silent." We have passed two millennium since the coming of the Prince of Peace and still a day does not pass that we do not hear or war or the rumors of war. Surely, there must be a better way. <br />
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What if on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the eleventh year the guns finally fell silent forever? What if in 365 days we did not raise up arms in violence? What if in one year it could be that no one took the blood of another in hatred, anger, or violence? Is this even possible?<br />
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Honestly, I do not know if it is possible. I do know it would not be easy, but here is an option. What if every person of faith, or even those who read these words, began to pray daily that peace would breakout? What if we all began to act in small ways that 11:00 on 11/11/11 violence would end? What if we began as individuals and groups to live and believe that all bloodshed could end?<br />
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Here is my proposal, my request, and my promise: pray daily for the next 365 days that the guns will fall silent forever; to try and speak only peace and not hate or anger or revenge; to ask God to show us how to love our neighbors, pray for those who persecute us, and to turn the other cheek. <br />
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If you would join me, let me know. If you believe in peace, pass this along. If you believe that with God's help this can happen, pray.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-56881645477775397742010-09-30T09:35:00.000-07:002010-09-30T09:35:59.041-07:00EvictedOn Monday morning I was driving home and noticed two police cars parked parallel to each other with the drivers' windows only a few feet apart at the end of the street. I didn't think much about it. How many times have we seen two police cars parked like this with the officers catching a quick chat? <br />
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An hour later, I was leaving the house and they were still there. This time I noticed they were not Fort Worth police; they were Tarrant County constables. At the same time a group of men were going in and out of the house and bunch of stuff was now on the lawn of the house. I realized the family was being evicted. <br />
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I have found myself thinking about that family, who I do not even know, a lot these few days. Part of me sympathizes with them for now they have to find a new place to live. Part of me understands the reality that housing costs money. Mostly, I hope for them they are safe. The house now sits empty waiting for someone new to move into make a home.<br />
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Over the last several months, I have had to commit a few evictions of my own. I have kicked some things out of my life that just could not stay. Self-reflection, prayer, support from my wife, have all played a role in being able to keep these tenants out of my life. Evicting habits and pain is not easy. I wish I could have called for an eviction notice and had two constables oversee the work. It would have taken less time and probably been much easier. I have learned, however, that bad habits and pain do not pay attention to eviction notices; they keep coming back if I do not keep a watchful eye on my house.<br />
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Honestly, I had an option; I could have let those old tenants stay in my life. Those habits, frailties, and bruises, that brought so much pain to my life and the life of people I loved, could have stayed, but those things are not the things of life. They stole from me and the people around me much like the family down the street was basically stealing to be point of being physically evicted from a house.<br />
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The house down the street sits empty. My life, my spirit, is not empty. It is being filled daily with the love of my wife and my boys. I am being filled by helping on several community boards. I am being filled by letting the light and grace of God into the darkest recesses of my soul. <br />
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Yeah, I had to evict some things from my life. I had take the time to remove the log from my own eye. I had to stop and let the peace of Christ take up residence in my life.<br />
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Evictions are not easy. They are difficult. The fact still remains that poor tenants have to go from our lives so that healthier, better tenants have the opportunity to move in.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-22766989013196144932010-09-14T11:19:00.000-07:002010-09-14T11:19:38.286-07:00BrokenMy wife's Tahoe is broken. I am not a mechanic so I really have no idea what is broken. I just know that we had to take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. <br />
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While many of us feel inadequate to the task of fixing cars, trucks, and the like, fixing a broken vehicle is often a relatively simple thing to do. You take it to a mechanic, they look for what is broken, they put in a new piece to replace the broken one, and after paying them what feels like an arm and a leg (and you have no idea if what they did or what it costs was reasonable) you drive away no longer broken.<br />
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Broken people and broken relationships are much harder to fix. Sometimes, when I listen carefully, it seems as if everyone is broken in one way or another. Other times, when I am pushed down within myself, it seems as if I am the only broken person to ever walk the face of the earth. <br />
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The broken parts of me caused me to act in ways that broken my most valued and intimate relationship. A year ago, Tammy and I began working to fix the brokenness of our marriage. We have had to rely on the grace of God often to bind us up just so we could make it another day. There is no quick fix, pay the man, and drive down the road answers to this level of bring broken. And sometimes, even now, Tammy and I can feel the scares and pain of the deep broken place where we were.<br />
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I cannot fix my wife's car. I need a mechanic to do that. I cannot totally fix myself. I need the grace of God to heal my brokenness. Tammy and I cannot fix the broken parts of our marriage alone, we too need the mercy of God's Spirit to bind and heal us. So today, I just ask for a little more grace and mercy to fix what is broken.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-6218129943809356102010-09-05T12:42:00.000-07:002010-09-05T12:42:09.922-07:00New HeartSeven years ago today, the younger of my two sons went into surgery at two and a half months old. The doctors at Cook's Children's Hospital fixed a congenital heart defect and literally gave life to my son. In many ways, today is as much his birthday as is his actually birthday in June. Thank you, God, for Dr. Tham, Dr. Lai, and all the wonderful medical staff and support staff that used your gifts to give life to my son.<br />
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One year ago, this weekend, I moved back into my home after about six weeks of living in an apartment a couple of miles away. At that point in my life, my heart was broken. I had just gone on an official leave of absence from pastoring in the United Methodist Church. I was trying to fix a marriage that I had literally destroyed. <br />
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Over these last twelve months, God has blessed me in many ways. First, I have had much time to give to my boys as I my primary responsibility has been as a stay-at-home dad. Second, my marriage is stronger and more honest than it has ever been. Third, I have had to do some serious self-reflection. <br />
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In this self-reflection and self-questioning, much time has been spent working on putting down the demons of my past. These battles are not easy, and I have had to rely on God to help me do what I have found impossible to do by myself in the past. Much time has been spent trying to simply do better today than I did yesterday at the little things that are so important in life. <br />
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I still am not 100% certain where God is leading me in the coming months. I do know I feel I have less to prove in life than I ever did before. A year later, I know myself to be stronger mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally than I may have ever been in my life. I also know my greatest weakness is loneliness. Many people see me and think of me as an easy-going extrovert, but inside I am introverted and almost chronically alone.<br />
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I thank God for the new heart that is growing within me and for the salvaged heart that beats within the chest of a young boy. And I pray honestly, "Create in me a <em>clean heart</em>, O God, and put a <em>new and right spirit</em> within me." (Psalm 51:10)praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-32821048114398448712010-08-16T14:35:00.000-07:002010-08-16T14:35:28.881-07:00Football and Holiness<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">While driving home from delivering my son to football practice, I heard about a football team in Michigan that is holding the annual two-a-day football practices between 11:00 pm and 4:00 am. In the Texas heat, I see this as just plan smart. They are doing this because, according to an article at ESPN.com, 95% of the team is fasting for Ramadan. See the article <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/highschool/news/story?id=5467167">here.</a> I am not complaining. I am congratulating the team and the individuals on the team. They are all making sacrifices so they can fast and prayer during these High Holy Days of Ramadan. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MVbj--BdooQ/TGmsVR7JmAI/AAAAAAAAAEM/iWddIGMOibw/s1600/football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" ox="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MVbj--BdooQ/TGmsVR7JmAI/AAAAAAAAAEM/iWddIGMOibw/s200/football.jpg" width="200" /></a>Do we as Christians, take our holidays (this comes from the words HOLY and DAYS) as seriously? How many of us will attend and or watch the Cowboys play on Christmas Day, or watch a double header of NBA basketball? Major League Baseball tends to love playing on Easter. Even Southern Methodist University has followed the mighty TV money and will be opening their season on Sunday, September 4th in Lubbock on ESPN.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Now, we can argue this several ways. First, they are all following willing money. The teams are simply doing what they have to do to make a buck. Second, we can blame TV. They have times slots to fill and will offer good money for teams to play and get TV time. Third, we can blame the owners of professional teams. I like to blame Jerry Jones for almost everything anyway, so this is all the same to me. Finally, we could and should blame us. We are the ones who demand, watch, and ultimately pay for games to be played on Christmas, Easter, and Sunday afternoon. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">What if, we turned off our TVs, radios, and did not attend games on Sundays? What if we avoided sports on Christmas and Easter? Would the sports marketing crumble? Probably not. They might find other times to play the games. But, let's be honest. We are almost Christian and lazy at that. If we were not watching our beloved Cowboys on Christmas Day, we would be at the movie theater laughing it up over popcorn.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</div>praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-72476612061196016912010-08-04T12:37:00.000-07:002010-08-04T12:37:42.688-07:00Where?Last night my wife, Tammy, and I had an interesting conversation. The topic basically was, "Where do you see the Kingdom of God?" It stemmed from her picking-up our son from Vacation Bible School where two boys prayed during the closing time. When they finished, the room burst into applause and they literally were high-fiving people as they returned to their seats. <br />
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It reminded me the many times I have been a part of a communion service full of kids during vacation Bible school. It is loud and restless. The kids pushed to see what was going on and then some were bashful when they final came to the point of receiving a pinch of bread and a drop of juice that represent to us the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Following one of these services a retired clergy, Mike Young, came to me and said, "Communion needs to be like this more often on Sunday morning. Noisy and energetic." <br />
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Yes, I often brush-up against the divine and holy in private, quiet meditation, but somehow I do not see the Kingdom of God being very quiet. Rather, I see it being noisy, energetic, a bit sweaty, and possibly dirty. I say this because every time I go on a mission trip, I see the Kingdom of God. When I see 100+ kids pushing to see what is going on and learning the stories of our faith, I see the Kingdom of God. When I hear the stories Tammy tells from the Board meetings of the Women's Center, I hear a retelling of people who are working for the Kingdom. Tammy says that she sees the Kingdom of God at the Downtown Y in Fort Worth where old white guys play basketball with young black guys. <br />
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So, where do you see the Kingdom of God?praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-54370257181862428882010-07-15T11:48:00.000-07:002010-07-15T11:48:25.068-07:00Next WeekNormally, I try not to look too much to the future, for tomorrow is yet to be and often does not live up the hype (good or bad). This week, though I have been spending a little time everyday preparing for next week. Sunday morning I am leaving for one of the best weeks of my year. Sunday, I leave on a mission trip with the CTCYM (Central Texas Conference Youth in Misson). <br />
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This year is different for several reasons. First, I am not going with my home church. Second, it is the first mission trip in many years where I was not the pastor. These two things are a bit disappointing, but they are small mole-hills of disappointment compared to the expected joys of the trip. <br />
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This year will be exciting and new as well. This is the first time I am going as a dad to one of the junior high youth on the trip. Yep, Austin is going on his first mission trip. What a joy to be a father and watch a young man grow up right before your eyes! Every day he becomes more and more of a young man. He needs to shave for the second time and we just shave a few weeks ago. His voice is no longer the voice of a child. His wisdom and intellegence are growing daily as well. And he wants to go with me on a trip!<br />
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For me this is the best week of the year because in this week I almost always feel close to Christ and his teachings. Sure some of that is due to the nightly worship, morning devotions, guided discussions during lunch. Even more it is based in serving my brothers and sisters, semi-monastic living, and being reminded of our interconnectedness as people.<br />
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As Christians, we all are called to mirror Christ in our lives. Some days we are better mirrors than others, but when we stop and act as a servant to someone else, when we tend to one who is in need, when we love our neighbor as ourself, we are acting mostly perfectly as Christ.<br />
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Yes, mission trip week is a holy week for me. My wife, Tammy, almost makes me go because of how much good it does for my attitude and my spirit. I expect to be blessed because I expect to see a bunch of 12 to 14 year old youth and a group of adults working hard to share the kingdom of God and the gospel of Christ in a real and tangible way in a small town in west Texas.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-84402274427169469752010-07-09T13:40:00.000-07:002010-07-09T13:40:21.134-07:00Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MVbj--BdooQ/TDeHiOtAK0I/AAAAAAAAAEE/oMi-OWG0Uac/s1600/OBJ_T_015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" rw="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MVbj--BdooQ/TDeHiOtAK0I/AAAAAAAAAEE/oMi-OWG0Uac/s320/OBJ_T_015.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
This summer I have been the stay-at-home father of two boys. It is amazing how much time they take. You get them up and feed them breakfast and suddenly it is 9:00. I run an errand, come home, check email and the bank account, and one of them will start asking about "lunch." <br />
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Lunch? Really?!? Well sure enough it is 12:30.<br />
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I make lunch, clean-up lunch, and look up and it is now 2:00. 2:00? But we just finished lunch. Where did the morning go? How did it get this late already?! <br />
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Make a phone call for a technical problem with one thing or another, follow-up on an item from yesterday and suddenly, it is 3:00 and I was hoping to write a blog from Wednesday that got pushed by an appointment for one of the boys and where did the week go? <br />
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Was I this busy before? My "to-do" list is still about 13 items long, and it doesn't look like it will be cleared before more is added. Yes, sometimes I add things I have accomplished just so I can show Tammy what all I did do while she was at work. <em>If you are not reading this in a frantic mode, go back and start again. </em><br />
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I have grown amazingly sympathetic with the many stay-at-home parents that I used to hear saying, "I am tired," or "I am so busy today." Kids don't wait. We can't just push them off until tomorrow.<br />
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Where do you find time? Time for the important things? Not the urgent stuff like bills and dinner. I mean the deeply important stuff like spouse, family, your kids, strengthening friendships, and the deepening of faith. Where did you spend your time? If you looked back at how you spent the last week, would God, family, and friends even make the list? <br />
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Now, back to the "to-do" list before the wife gets home. We have a few errands to run this evening so we ready to for the next project which starts tomorrow. <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">AHHHHHHH</span>!!!!praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-62610222233113083402010-06-30T09:45:00.000-07:002010-06-30T09:45:58.201-07:00SurrenderFor much of my adult life, I have gladly listed the things I have survived. It was a pretty heavy and substantial list, honestly. I was kind of proud of the stuff I survived. Here is a peek at the list for those of you playing along at home.<br />
<ul><li>I developed a slight paralysis in my left arm my senior year of high school</li>
<li>dad comes of the closet during my second year of marriage and seminary</li>
<li>mom and dad divorce (see above)</li>
<li>my youngest son has Down syndrome and a major heart defect</li>
<li>my son had heart surgery at 2 months old (heart defect corrected)</li>
<li>I have preached a friend's funeral who committed suicide</li>
<li>been there as friends and family have committed themselves into mental health hospitals for depression and suicidal thoughts</li>
</ul>Yep, this is a glimpse. For years I wore these and other things in life as badges of honor. I had survived. I realized over the last few weeks, I do not want to survive so much any more. E<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ventually</span> the mountain of survived events will crush me if I continue to try and carry them around with me all the time. There will be something that comes along that I cannot survive. That is the nature of life itself; in time none of us survive it.<br />
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I want to surrender. I want to surrender to God's will in my life, not just accepting a call to ministry, but as a husband, a father, a brother, a son. I want to surrender not just to say I survived, but that I learned and grew through the events of my life. I want to surrender in the little ways, the right ways, the things that no one else will notice, but I will know.<br />
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I guess the best way to put it is, "Christ bore the weight of the cross so I do not have to bear the weight of the world, even my world." When I surrender fully to Christ, I do find the saying to be true, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) Surrendering is much easier and life-giving than merely surviving.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-20355887627380217412010-06-19T14:07:00.000-07:002010-06-19T14:07:22.608-07:00VisitIn the late hours of yesterday morning, I was working out in my garage. A black car pulled up and two people, a man and a woman, exited the car and went up to the door of my neighbor. I knew no one was home. Within minutes they were walking up my driveway. I felt a tension, even an anger, in my chest. I could see their big leather bound Bibles. I, in my indignation, assumed I could perceive their self-righteous condemnation. I was right about them coming to tell me about Jesus, and again I was right when I guessed they were Jehovah's Witnesses.<br />
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I have developed my distrust of the Jehovah's Witnesses over time and personal experience. I have had them come selling curb painting only to then come back dressed in their Sunday best to win me over to their way. On more than one encounter, I have said, "I am a United Methodist Pastor. I am not interested in converting," only to have them then want to tell me how Methodists are wrong, or how they are right.<br />
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Now, I have to be honest, I have gone door-to-door trying to tell being about a church. So, why is it that I am so insensitive to them trying to do the same thing? Mostly, I think it is about the willingness to listen. And having knocked on about 1,500 doors personally, I can tell you it is basically ineffective as a tool of evangelism. Jesus did not come and knock impersonally on doors. Jesus came to be in relationship with people. Jesus came to change lives. Jesus came that we might know God and know God personally and intimately. <br />
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I hope the next time I get a visit, I am a little less tense and much less angry. I hope the next time, I can see that Jesus has just come to my door. I hope I will greet him much more kindly, for if I were to be judged on one visit yesterday morning, "I saw him thirsty and did not offer him a drink. I saw him a stranger and I was rude to him." <br />
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Did I mention that I was carving props for Vacation Bible School? praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-48846564246853466542010-06-16T13:02:00.000-07:002010-06-16T13:09:12.528-07:00RecentlySo recently, I have not posted my weekly blog. Recently, I have helped my mom pack to move from Sinton to San Antonio. Recently, Austin (my twelve-year old) and I rebuilt a wooden ice chest. Recently, I have been spending about 45 minutes each evening sitting by a pool watching my now seven-year old take swimming lessons. Recently, life has been very good. Busy, yes, but good.<br />
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Recently, I have been finding that prayer has not come in bunches, but has come in stolen moments through the day. Monday evening, for example, I was sitting on the TCU campus waiting for my son to finish a day at soccer camp. Most of the time I would get out my iphone and begin playing <em>Bejeweled </em>or <em>HR Battle. </em>This evening, I sat on a bench in the cool of the evening and began reading Thomas a Kempis' <em>Imitation of Christ</em>. <br />
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What have you done recently that is good for your soul or for the soul and well-being of someone else?praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-45307350764882602082010-05-26T12:11:00.000-07:002010-05-26T12:13:10.209-07:00SufficientHow often do we believe we are insufficient? Unworthy? Not good enough?<br />
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Several weeks ago, while running, a woman was admitting her unbelief. During the conversation, this woman confessed her lack of faith at times as she struggled to raise children of faith. She was truly grieved by her unbelief. As we ran along I thought about her situation and listened as others said things like, "Put away that doubt," as if it were a thing that could be tucked in a drawer and forgotten. Eventually, I said to her, "Jesus told a man his child would be made well if he only believed. The man responded, 'I believe; help my unbelief.' And immediately the child was made well." (See Mark 9:14-29) I went on to say that Jesus knows that none of us are 100% faithful 100% of the time. <br />
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The man's faith was sufficient as incomplete as it was. Jesus did not then say, "You are not adequate," nor "What I have to give is insufficient to meet your need." The man's belief was sufficient because the power of Jesus was sufficient well beyond his unbelief.<br />
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One of the things with which I struggle is that God's grace is sufficient for me. It was enough for the man who came to Jesus with a child in need. It was enough for the woman running along the trail. It was enough for the Apostle Paul who desired to have the thorn removed from his flesh and pleaded to the Lord three times before Jesus said to him, "My grace is sufficient for you." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)<br />
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Sufficient. Enough. An adequate answer. Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient."<br />
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Yes, it is sufficient. It is good enough. It is adequate to the task. God's grace is sufficient for me. It is enough to set me free. It is adequate to the task of forgiveness and hope. I don't need more. There is already enough.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-61432461831068952822010-05-19T15:09:00.000-07:002010-05-19T15:09:23.288-07:00ExplanationsI would want nothing more than to be able to give the perfect explanation to any wrong, sin, mistake I have ever committed. To give the perfect explanation would absolve me of everything. All would suddenly be right with the world. Last week, I wrote about my hiding in the cave (I also wrote about this same subject back in January). If I could just come up with the perfect explanation I could come out of the cave, dust myself off, and we could all get back to business.<br />
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Here's the problem with that scenario: explanations are often nothing more than excuses we hope will justify our actions. You know this deal. You have used it yourself, "But mom, every one was doing it." Like mom is suddenly going to say, "Well, that makes everything better." What we were hoping is mom would accept our explanation as an excuse and we would be able to avoid getting in trouble for what we did.<br />
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So as I want to make explanation, point to someone else, or come up with an excuse, I realize only I made my choices of the past, and only I can make my choices for this moment and the future. Yes, we learn from our experience, and I am learning more every day.<br />
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Thankfully, I do not have to come up with the perfect explanation. I simply have to admit I was wrong and repent, that is turn back to God. I know that God will make everything right in the long run. It is true not just for me but for everyone. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:23-24) I do not doubt that God forgives me. I do not doubt that my boys and my wife forgive me. What holds me in the cave most often is the doubt that others will not forgive, and I know an explanation will not be good enough.<br />
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So, here I am, a sinner forgiven, giving no explanation, and, for today, sitting just outside the cave.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-91057726408267313682010-05-12T13:56:00.001-07:002010-05-12T14:31:48.354-07:00HidingI am on a family leave of absence from serving as a pastor in the United Methodist Church. I asked for this leave to address issues in myself that were hurting my self, my family, and my ministry. I am in my ninth month of leave at this point. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">foresee</span> being on leave for <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">at least</span> another twelve months.<br /><br />I am glad to say that I am doing much better, and my wife and two boys are doing better too for the efforts Tammy and I both are putting into our marriage and family. Still, I cannot help but feel as if I am in hiding. Some people ask me about my "sabbatical." Well, it is not a sabbatical. This is more of a cave into which I have crawled and in many ways, I do not want to come out of the cave. But, I am beginning to wonder - how long can you stay in a cave before you have become the cave? How long can you just stay in hiding?<br /><br />Honestly, I do not feel worthy at this point to come out of the cave. As one who once had a voice, I feel like I have given up my right to speak. As one who once was a leader, I want to now just hide in the cave hoping no one asks, "What are you doing in there?" <br /><br />Lazarus was four days dead when Jesus arrived at the front of the cave where his body was laid. Jesus asked that the stone be moved and he called to Lazarus in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" When Lazarus, still wrapped in burial clothes, emerged from the tomb Jesus said to the others, "Unbind him and let him go." (John 11:38-44)<br /><br />My mistakes drove me into hiding, and, yes, I have died several deaths in this process. Now my fear and shame seem to hold me here. I do not want to stay in hiding forever, but I am not sure how to walk back into the openness of day. In some ways I am waiting for a voice to call to me, "Andrew, come out." I am waiting for someone to say, "Unbind him and let him go."praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-57981979694416569012010-05-05T14:20:00.000-07:002010-05-05T14:44:22.622-07:00ThoughtsHave you ever been overwhelmed by the thoughts running through your head? Sometimes, it is the pile of work waiting for you on your desk that haunts you as you try to relax at home. Other times it is an insecurity built in the past and reaffirmed in the present that overwhelms. Sometimes, it is an obsession or an addiction that fills our head and locks-up the ability to move forward.<br /><br />Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) The ancients were not as clear about the separation of heart, mind, emotions and the like as we are. One could easily see this as saying, "What is important to you, on that your mind will dwell."<br /><br />How do we change the thoughts running through our heads, lay down those insecurities, and better control the obsessions and addictions of our lives? This is not as easy, but obviously important if we want to have a better pattern tomorrow than we did today. <br /><br />I want to point to a couple of possibilities that I find useful, although, honestly, I do not turn to them as often as I should. First is prayer. Pray for a new heart, a new mind, and a new thought. To quote the camp song, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus . . . and the things of earth will grow strangely dim." When we are speaking oft with the Lord, we tend to not be thinking about our shortcomings and our obsessions.<br /><br />Second, trying focusing yourself on this moment. What are you seeing, hearing, feeling, and doing at this very moment? For example, I see the computer screen, I hear my son playing in the next room, I feel the warmth of the computer on my wrist, and I am writing a blog. This pulls me out of my head and into the present of this moment. <br /><br />As anyone who reads these words regularly can tell, I am working on changing my thoughts and focusing on a better treasure.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777056209430027521.post-4899673189485646892010-04-27T09:37:00.000-07:002010-04-27T10:01:46.991-07:00Smaller<em>Last week, I was out of town. Therefore no blog post. Thanks to the people who noticed (and mentioned) it was not here.</em><br /><br />A few days ago, I posted on my Facebook status, "I want to get smaller." Almost immediately the questions came, "Smaller how?" " Do you want to lose weight?" "Do you want to be a Hobbit?" Yes, I like many people want to lose weight. No, I do not want to be a Hobbit. "Smaller how?" is the better question.<br /><br />I am not 100% certain how I want to get smaller. I know I want to leave less of a carbon footprint. It is why I carry reusable bags to the grocery store, use compact fluorescent light bulbs, try not to jackrabbit start from the stoplight when I am driving, and I pull the weeds from my lawn by hand (no poison, please)! So, I want to have a smaller negative impact on the world in which I live and the world I will leave for future generations. <br /><br />I think even more than being smaller in the carbon footprint legacy (which as a fairly typical Texan is way larger than I want to admit), I want to be smaller in terms of what people perceive when they come in contact with me. Several years ago, I had the opportunity to spend some time working with the Missionaries of Charity (think Mother Teresa). I was with several guys, big guys actually. After only a few minutes in the presence of these women one of us said, "I want to get smaller." These women are led so deeply by the Holy Spirit and come so much as the presence of Christ, that the women themselves almost disappeared. We, in our big, bold, brash Texas ways were out of place and out of sorts with this self-giving of the sisters to God, to their Order, and to the neighbor. (To read more about this adventure, you can read the book <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_12?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+mystic+way+of+evangelism&sprefix=the+mystic+w">The Mystic Way of Evangelism</a> </em>by Elaine Heath.)<br /><br />I want to get smaller. In that vein, I am working on being more diligent in prayer, listening more than speaking, waiting more than rushing, and putting God and family before anything else. To be smaller means to seek the mind of Christ, the will of God, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. I am not sure I am really getting smaller, but I pray that it may be so.praying postmodernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04596957097148565621noreply@blogger.com0