Smaller

Last week, I was out of town. Therefore no blog post. Thanks to the people who noticed (and mentioned) it was not here.

A few days ago, I posted on my Facebook status, "I want to get smaller." Almost immediately the questions came, "Smaller how?" " Do you want to lose weight?" "Do you want to be a Hobbit?" Yes, I like many people want to lose weight. No, I do not want to be a Hobbit. "Smaller how?" is the better question.

I am not 100% certain how I want to get smaller. I know I want to leave less of a carbon footprint. It is why I carry reusable bags to the grocery store, use compact fluorescent light bulbs, try not to jackrabbit start from the stoplight when I am driving, and I pull the weeds from my lawn by hand (no poison, please)! So, I want to have a smaller negative impact on the world in which I live and the world I will leave for future generations.

I think even more than being smaller in the carbon footprint legacy (which as a fairly typical Texan is way larger than I want to admit), I want to be smaller in terms of what people perceive when they come in contact with me. Several years ago, I had the opportunity to spend some time working with the Missionaries of Charity (think Mother Teresa). I was with several guys, big guys actually. After only a few minutes in the presence of these women one of us said, "I want to get smaller." These women are led so deeply by the Holy Spirit and come so much as the presence of Christ, that the women themselves almost disappeared. We, in our big, bold, brash Texas ways were out of place and out of sorts with this self-giving of the sisters to God, to their Order, and to the neighbor. (To read more about this adventure, you can read the book The Mystic Way of Evangelism by Elaine Heath.)

I want to get smaller. In that vein, I am working on being more diligent in prayer, listening more than speaking, waiting more than rushing, and putting God and family before anything else. To be smaller means to seek the mind of Christ, the will of God, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. I am not sure I am really getting smaller, but I pray that it may be so.