OK, this spring I began something relatively insane. I began running. I started for several reasons. First, I knew I needed to loose some weight (don't we all). Second, I member of the church is the manager at a local running store and mentioned this 1/2 marathon in San Antonio and the running group at the store.
After almost four months of running, I am two months out from this 1/2 marathon. Running is still hard. Running still wears me out (I am tired all the time). Running has become something more than feet and pavement.
I wonder now, "To what am I running?" and "From what am I running?" We run from many things: problems, relationships, work, stress, the past. I don't feel that I am running from any of those things. But minus this 13.1 mile run in November, I am also not sure if there is a goal out there that I am running towards.
Right now, I am running in circles. I have not lost any weight (but I don't feel as guilty about a good hamburger, fries, and a coke). I don't have a goal in mind usually, minus finishing.
How much of life is just running circles with no goal, no accomplishment, just waiting for the next hill to climb or turn in the road?
2 comments:
I haven't been running and I have lost weight. I don't write this to brag I write this to tell you not all methods of losing weight are worth it. Anxiety has caused me to have upset stomachs. Some times anxiety causes me to eat....this time I have lost weight.
I've worked on the anxiety and discovered this trick. The church has been the source of much of my anxiety and the inspiration of much of my weight gain. I simply imagine the anger and fear of church members as their way of putting fat on my body.
I discovered that I have control of my own body. I've been busy taking off the fat others so skillfully put on me.
It's probably a sick cycle....but no worries I'm seeing a counselor!
O.k. typo in last post....I only have one stomach that gets upset!!!!
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