"I control my own destiny." It is something that all of us want to believe in some form or fashion. Just a couple of weeks ago, a church by which I pass had on the marquee, "WE ARE THE RESULT OF OUR CHOICES." As humans, we want this to be the case. We know it to be the case.
This week is the antithesis of these humanistic mindsets. North Texas has prepared for months for this week. It is the week of the "Big Game." I don't want the NFL to come saying that I am infringing on their precious copyright, so I will just say, "The Big Game." Well, as much as DFW prepared, made choices, and put our destiny in our own hands, God has looked down and laughed at the little Babylonians trying to build for ourselves a tower and make a name for ourselves. We could plan, hope, dream, invest, choose, and still at the end of the day, we could not control the weather. We have had the coldest temperatures in over 15 years along with ice and snow.
We want to prove that we can do this. We want to be smart enough and strong enough to handle these things on our own. Frustratingly, we are not. OK, I will make it more personal, I am not. Maybe Jerry and the guys running the "Big Game" are strong enough and smart enough.
Yes, I have lots of control in my life. Yes, I can make many choices every day. Yes, I have intelligence and strength. No, I am not in control and I do not want to be. I am not solely the result of my choices. Good things have happened in my life that have nothing to do with the choices I have made. Bad things have happened despite some good and right decisions. I have not always gotten what I deserved, good or bad. On the whole, I am as much the product of grace as of any control I have in life. God has never failed to remain faithful regardless of my desire for control.
After four days cooped up at home, I am ready to have a bit more control. I am ready to drop the kids at school, go get a Starbucks, and then have the ability to come and go as I choose. And I will continue to be thankful for the lack of control I have which somehow has been blessing and grace in the long views of life.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Division
Last week I exchanged emails with a friend who is coming out of a turbulent year. Although the turbulent was personal, she said, "surely that has spilled into my professional life to some degree." We would like to believe there is some great wall of division between our professional and private lives. And somehow we are surprised when the professional or public pours into tour private lives, or when a tough time in the private world comes out in odd ways in our public self.
My mom used to work in a school where the principal's secretary was also his wife. Mom's classroom shared a wall with the principal's office. She could tell you when they had a fight at home because of the yelling in their offices at work. Are any of us really surprised at this phenomenon?
We also expect there to be a wall of division between our sacred and secular selves. This wall is no more existent than the wall mentioned above. We are integrated beings. Our sacred and secular effect each other. Our faith cannot start on Sunday about 8:15 in the morning and only be important until 12:03.
Maybe we all need to embrace the reality that our being is integrated. That our physical effects our spiritual, that our public and private are related, and that our sacred and secular in reality are the same person. Not that all things have to be shared in all places, but being more fully integrating and not letting the walls of division be so prominent in our lives actually frees us to be the full person God called and created us to be. Maybe we can be more fully alive in all aspects of life.
My mom used to work in a school where the principal's secretary was also his wife. Mom's classroom shared a wall with the principal's office. She could tell you when they had a fight at home because of the yelling in their offices at work. Are any of us really surprised at this phenomenon?
We also expect there to be a wall of division between our sacred and secular selves. This wall is no more existent than the wall mentioned above. We are integrated beings. Our sacred and secular effect each other. Our faith cannot start on Sunday about 8:15 in the morning and only be important until 12:03.
Maybe we all need to embrace the reality that our being is integrated. That our physical effects our spiritual, that our public and private are related, and that our sacred and secular in reality are the same person. Not that all things have to be shared in all places, but being more fully integrating and not letting the walls of division be so prominent in our lives actually frees us to be the full person God called and created us to be. Maybe we can be more fully alive in all aspects of life.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Beyond One's Self
Yesterday afternoon a friend's husband was attacked by a student at his school. Originally, they thought he had a few broken ribs, but did not appear so on the x-ray. Apparently, he is still hurting and they are headed back to the doctor this afternoon.
Obviously, I am concerned about the friend and I worry about the state of our schools, but part of me hurts for this student. What is going on in his life? What was he thinking? Was he thinking? What would his parents say? Do they even know?
To attack a teacher is to act outside of one's self. He was acting beyond what was rational and expected. Many people act beyond themselves at various points in life. Glen Beck and George W. Bush both admit to having acted beyond themselves in their use of alcohol. Lindsay Lohan may have almost forgotten what it means to act within herself over the last several years. Even St. Peter acted outside of himself as he denied even knowing Jesus.
I know the pain acting outside of one's self can bring. I have experienced it in my own life. I almost threw away the best things in my life as my family and marriage were slipping out of my fingers and my career eventually flew out the window. Beck, Bush, and Lohan got help to get back on track. Peter ended up being the rock on which the Church was built. I have had help pulling myself together and establishing and reestablishing my own boundaries.
What about this kid? Who will help him? Who is helping in our schools? I have to admit I am a fence rider, literally, on this subject. I serve on a PTA for one son's local public elementary school, and am a passive parent at my other son's private middle school. I hope this kid finds a way to establish his own self in a positive way.
Obviously, I am concerned about the friend and I worry about the state of our schools, but part of me hurts for this student. What is going on in his life? What was he thinking? Was he thinking? What would his parents say? Do they even know?
To attack a teacher is to act outside of one's self. He was acting beyond what was rational and expected. Many people act beyond themselves at various points in life. Glen Beck and George W. Bush both admit to having acted beyond themselves in their use of alcohol. Lindsay Lohan may have almost forgotten what it means to act within herself over the last several years. Even St. Peter acted outside of himself as he denied even knowing Jesus.
I know the pain acting outside of one's self can bring. I have experienced it in my own life. I almost threw away the best things in my life as my family and marriage were slipping out of my fingers and my career eventually flew out the window. Beck, Bush, and Lohan got help to get back on track. Peter ended up being the rock on which the Church was built. I have had help pulling myself together and establishing and reestablishing my own boundaries.
What about this kid? Who will help him? Who is helping in our schools? I have to admit I am a fence rider, literally, on this subject. I serve on a PTA for one son's local public elementary school, and am a passive parent at my other son's private middle school. I hope this kid finds a way to establish his own self in a positive way.
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